A woman’s struggle with confidence

They told me to be confident.
They told me it was to be sure of one’s self.
They told me it wasn’t pride or excessive humility.
They told me it was some form of middle ground.

So did it mean being loud or hyperactive? I wondered.
I wondered if meant being strong,
I wondered about how much self- pride and humility was needed.
50% pride and 50% humility? Or perhaps 60-40 humility and self pride?
I wondered about the definition of confidence and oh boy, I struggled!

The struggle to impress continued….
The struggle for acceptance….
The struggle to make sense and shame the naysayers.
Then…….. I fell in love and found ‘The Book’.

The Book told me confidence was in my Lover.
The Book tells me that His love makes me complete.
The Book told me that confidence should not be an issue since having died, I now have His life.
The Book just like manure on soil gives me growth in confidence.

So now I choose confidence in the Lover and Director of my soul.
I chose to live for the audience of One knowing my choice would inadvertently bring me confidence before Him and man.
Now, I grow in my ability to be sure….
Sure of His help, my self and His abilities in me.
I grow in being a confident woman!

©Favour Adebowale, 2019

Published by Favour Sokolayam Adebowale

A lover of God and people, Favour has dedicated her life to represent Jesus and be an encouragement to humanity. She is a graduate of the university of Sussex and has been writing blog posts since 2013 . She has also authored the ebook “In search of hope; finding hope in seeming hopelessness”. Today, Favour lives in Germany with her husband where they work to represent Jesus and be a blessing.

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