For many years as a child growing into a teenager, I never could fit into anywhere. It’s not that I didn’t want friends, it was just difficult to have a friend. Trust me, friends are biblical and they are important for our walk with the Lord.
“There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother”- Proverbs 18:24
God finally gave me a friend just as I was finishing high school and over the years, He has blessed me with some wonderful people. However, it did not just happen, even though God blessed me, I had a part to play. So here are some steps that I believe will help as you develop friendships.
1. Ask Jesus: the Bible tells us in James 1:17 that all good and perfect gifts come from the Father of lights with whom there is no shadow of turning or variation. God is a good father and He gives us good gifts which include gifts of men. When I was in university, a few years ago, I was worried as I left my home country. I wasn’t sure I would have friends or settle well and I talked to God about it. I asked Him for good friends and He sent me amazing people. The friends He gave me in that season really helped to shape and strengthen my life.
2. Be a friend: The bible admonishes us to do unto others what we want to be done to us. You want friends? Be a friend. Pray for that person, check on that person, don’t speak ill of that person, defend that person.That is what friends do. Now, I am not saying that you keep forcing yourself on the person. No, no one is doing you a favour by being your friend. I am basically saying, care about people and work on your character. I wouldn’t want to be friends with you if I get a vibe that you somehow think you’re better than me. You might not be thinking that but it might just be the vibe you put out.
People don’t care how much you know or how nice you are, until they see that you care.
3. Everyone is not meant to be your friend: Know that not everyone is meant to be your friend. Some people are acquaintances and that’s just it. Do you have common interests, do you pray together or do you gossip and compete? Friendships can also affect your mental health. God created us as relational beings which is why relationships can affect our state of mind and also longevity. So choose them carefully.
4. Be wise: Trust God for wisdom (James 1:5). Some people are wolves in sheep’s clothing and you might not be able to identify them immediately. Let God help you discern and don’t ignore your gut feeling. Also, make sure your friend loves God as much as you do and is willing to grow. You don’t need people who will bring you down to destruction.
I am who I am today because of the investments of some wonderful people in my life. If God did not bring my amazing sisters to me,
I would totally be a different person with a very poor self-esteem. We need men to progress in this life. Even Jesus had 12 of them and out of those 12, He had 3 really close ones. You cannot function by yourself. You need your ‘sisterhood’ or a ‘brotherhood’.
It is important to note that the ultimate friend is the Holy Spirit. You need Him!
It is my prayer that the steps above will help you in your search for Godly friends and partnerships.
You are loved,